Beside the position of our consciousness pendulum there is something like different potentials with which our mental and material perception is provided. These potentials of the material and the mental decide how far the pendulum can move at all in one direction (or out of one). I know a woman whose life is a disaster on the outside. In debt so that sometimes she does not know what to eat at the end of the month, divorced twice, breaks with the children and ex-husbands. Alone. A 14 to 16 hour day and surrounded exclusively by people who do not understand her and who bully her. I would not be able to endure this condition for a week. My pendulum would be caught in deepest anger and self-defense reflexes at the latest. This woman – a pastor with about 20 congregations, distributed on small mountains of a German low mountain range at the end of the world, – does this for decades now. Without vacation. – Did I say that this woman has not been on vacation for at least 20 years? – When I talk to her on the phone, one often wants to think that she is just sitting on the beach of the Baltic Sea and looking at the sea. And it’s not as if she were suppressing or ignoring the stress. When she then talks about her nights, it „rages“ inside her without ceasing. She hardly gets any sleep. But when she blesses, the hardest atheists feel the Holy Spirit come down on them (they don’t call it that, but they are excited because of the wonderful Mass, baptism, wedding, funeral, etc.) and I feel the walls shaking in our house. 500 kilometers away. Such power this woman has! – In her church she was persecuted for it and transferred to a hellish deportation post.
But that is the potential I am talking about. This woman feels infinite pain. At night. The body has been completely overloaded for decades and is desperately screaming for rest. Every night. But her pendulum does not go beyond pain. Not into fear, not into anger, and certainly not into hate. Her pendulum remains predominantly in the spiritual, despite everything. And with that, she heals her body again and moves on. Bullied, humiliated, without support from colleagues and superiors. With her children she fled from her insane first husband thirty years ago. Without money, without clothes. Just off and without fear. And it was opened to her. She was always helped by strangers. If you ask her if sometimes she doesn’t want to wring the neck of this (or that) person who particularly bullies her, she says, somewhat at a loss for an answer, „I don’t think about that… I pray for him (or her)…“ This woman is pure spiritual power and therefore cannot be destroyed by outward appearances. I think she is one of the pillars of this world, to whom it is owed that not everything has sunk into hatred yet. And as it is written everywhere: These people are not recognized by the people of the world. They are laughed at, humiliated and put on the cross….. And then they simply rise again on the third day. And hatred cannot destroy them.
This potential also exists on the other side. People to whom you can offer all love and all peace and all kindness and yet they do not come out of your fear. Maybe – in the best case – very briefly a little bit of freedom from fear and then back again. People who can never attain the soul trust, because their outer perception has too great a potential. Who always have to remain in suffering.