Just now, a man with a delivery truck was standing in front of our door. He handed me a package with the words. „You could have had this yesterday. But the truck couldn’t get here. I’ve already had trouble, too. „It resonated criticism that our impossible choice of residence caused such problems and additional expenses.
I replied – without being able to control my stupid ego: „Oh. Usually it works out, though. “ Even if that corresponded to the truth: I countered covert rebuke with covert rebuke. The delivery driver looked at my old car, at our little house, and at me standing in front of him in „forest clothes,“ rolled over that I was home while he had to drive around – and hated me. „These things slide fast on sand in this weather. “ he muttered while still getting in the car.
The event lasted less than two minutes. I am sad that it happened this way. The hatred is still perceptible to me now. I should have accepted it and acknowledged that it is really not easy to get here. Which would have been true. Now he feels bad and I would like to tell him that I am sorry. I send him my blessings. I try to replace anger with security with him. That is all I can do. And it is a lot.
Nevertheless: We cannot be careful enough with what we say! Everything has its effect. Far beyond our horizon.