If we offer our pain to a person long enough, we damage him just as if we were to offer our hatred to him. That is because pain and hatred are the same substance. No matter how full of love we are, if we carry great pain, we must be careful to whom we offer it and to what extent. Even if it is people we love dearly: By offering our pain, we damage them and create a reaction that seems like hatred, but is just an attempt to protect ourselves from getting hurt – and also sick. It is also offering of pain. It appears as counter-hate. So hate is a compressed offering of pain.
But hatred strives for annihilation. Does the lover who offers an excess of pain also seek annihilation? – He does not strive for it, but the effect is the same. By offering so much pain to the other through one, he loses his own material form. He is flooded by the materiality of another ego. He loses himself. In addition, in his consciousness the perception of pain is massively increased over the perception of soul unity. This creates the perception of fear of annihilation and loneliness. This leads to the focus on the one as the causer – that is the anger – and ultimately to the counter-hatred.
If you feel yourself being flooded by the pain of the other person, then you must not give in to the burgeoning anger. The only possibility is to raise his soul perception in his own system again. This can be done by a short – in love accomplished – spatial separation, in order to be able to meet him again in love and the knowledge of unity, when the pain of the other person has flowed away. But he who only seeks separation and cannot let the pain flow away, but adds it to his own, will always remain in hatred towards the other and think up legends with which he can justify his behavior. For the statement, ‚I could no longer bear his pain and therefore left him alone with it‘ is morally unacceptable before himself and before others.