We are so weak because we feel people’s feelings so much. That’s why we are afraid of contact, of a negative impression that comes crashing down on us pain full on. That’s why we try to avoid or, if that’s not possible, to take in for ourselves. The pain we absorb from people is simply too great in the long run to deal with it always and forever swallowing.
In the end, one is incapable of acting, because society is always potential pain. Negative evaluation is always potential pain.
The most important inner realisation of this period of my existence is that I am always for people. But not because of them. Neither are my intentions, nor my goals, nor my doing and leaving in any way dependent on them or even connected to them in any way.
My actions for people are determined solely by my inner knowledge. In inner knowing, I act rightly. No matter what anyone else wants to think of it.
If I go up in the flow of the whole system, then I face the people as a guided part of the whole. I serve them, but as individuals they are meaningless and indifferent to me with their views, opinions and evaluations.
I face them, on the cosmic level connected as one, on the material level unconnected and uninfluenceable. In this way I always act clearly and correctly.
This inner attitude that I now have the grace to experience takes so much suffering and so much fear out of my body. Now I can begin to act clearly and creatively. My old karma has come off.
I am nobody any more. I am a tool of inner guidance.