I like it here! I like that! – When something starts to please me too much, then I start to feel uncomfortable. I then ask myself: Do I want to stay in this place, in this „here“, and never leave? Do I not want to miss this „something“ anymore? Do I want it to stay? If I have to answer these questions in the affirmative, then I know that I am no longer in balance.
It is a strange feeling to realize this. We humans are accustomed to positively assessing the fact that we „like“ something. After all, according to common reading, it should be that we are in an environment in which we „like“ as much as possible and hold it dear. But I am alarmed and sense a trick in this, a disguise. Something has shifted, has crept in. I recognize that an important truth is to be withheld from me and I am to be blinded. Then a counter-reflex sets in with me. It is like the breathing reflex that prevents us from suffocating ourselves by not breathing. I then want to give away, sell, give away everything I own. All the junk that you „own“ like that. Now! I am suffocating! Something is going wrong! Am I poisoned!?
If I then feel deep inside myself, I realize that it is fear that my mind has cleverly transformed into a feeling called „liking“. This fear is so secretly hidden in this feeling of „like“ that I have to look very carefully not to miss it.
When I want to keep something or when I don‚t want to go anymore, I am in a state where I am weakened in my soul knowledge and my confidence. The fear of what could come, the fear of what could take the place of what I have right now, then reigns. The fear of destiny, which is so horrible for my mind, because it is so hidden from it. – Perhaps the more fate knocks on our door, the more we „like“ what we have or where we are…the more it calls us to change.
This fear is part of our ignorant and lonely material existence. It results from our perpetual pain of separation. I feel in these moments of introspection how abandoned I feel. And this abandonment, this sense of isolation, makes my mind „like“ places and things. To want to keep them. To not want to leave them or let them go. To persevere and stay where one is. With the things one has after all. It is beautiful here! I like it here! Who knows what will come when I leave. I block myself from what comes, reduce my arguments to myself and my opinion alone: I like it here! Why should I leave? That there is more, what is decisive for my life, than my hollow personal illusion of liking, I fade out best completely… I am deaf on my mental perception and listen much too much or even only to the mind, the lonely one. And I calm down with the fact that others (minds) nevertheless like the same as me. How should that then be wrong? – – I am so afraid of what is coming! I feel so alone in this world! Where is my support? Where is my spiritual trust? My knowledge that everything goes its right way, if I only let it go? Why don’t I hear my spiritual voice anymore? What will happen when I die?
In such a situation, the pendulum has swung from my soul knowledge and trust over to the spheres of materially dominated perceptions. There I feel too much isolation and too little unity. From this the predominance of fear develops, which makes me persist and from which the feeling of „wanting to keep“, the rigidity, develops. The feeling develops which my mind – it is good at this – euphemistically calls „liking“. It is a concept that inevitably leads to rigidity and persistence. To consolidation in a single point. In our solitary ego. It is a concept exactly in the form, as it is comfortable for our mind, which also only knows what is now and which also can only experience what is here and which only believes what its five limited senses experience and what its material logic thinks to grasp. The rigidity of the „pleasing“ has its correspondence in its isolation in time and space. Therefore the mind likes this rigidity, promotes it and names it so positively as „liking“. Also the one who travels all the time around the world, from one place to another, from time zone to time zone: if he does it because he „likes“ it and could not let go of it, the rigidity is the same as in the one who, sitting in his room, cannot separate himself from the smallest habits, things and even memories. There is no difference in both their fear and their weakened mental knowledge and confidence.
If I have recognized this – shivering in the face of my now unveiled fear – then I look freezingly what has swung my pendulum so in this direction and ask that it may return to the center again… that my soul knowledge may give me warmth and light again…. that I may again know about our security in the spiritual unity….
Of course, we all always „like“ something. The insistence and the anxious wanting to hold on is part of our material aspect. If we would be exclusively soul existence, then our feeling would exist only in the unity and nothing would be at all more there, to which we would have to hang our heart or also only could. Therefore: We always like something in our life. There is always something that we do not want to give up, from which we do not want to depart. This is because we are human beings and as human beings we are always in the field of tension between mind and soul. This means that fear is always a part of our human existence. Our deep-seated feeling of material loneliness, which is ineradicable in us, and our attempt to be allowed to hold on to anything permanently in the whirlpool of existence, is part of our material being, is a consequence of the isolation of our mind in time and space. It is meant to be. But the fear – the „liking“, the insistence – needs its compensation in the soul knowledge and trust. We should pay attention to this – – and perhaps ask ourselves more often why we persist and cannot let go. The answer „Because I like it – here!“ does not hit the mark, is conveniently too short-sighted and only obscures the true core. We could then try to look behind the words and behind the thoughts… behind what our mind wants us to believe and then replace the fearful coldness with the spiritual light.
What do I not „like“ everything! Let’s take this book. I should be ready, now that I’m writing it, for all manuscripts to burn and for it to disappear irretrievably from all my computers. I should be ready to let it go, if fate so wills it… But it would not be easy for me. I don’t want to just let go of this book, which is the expression of something I have been privileged to receive over many years. Now that I am writing it, I have several copies of this text. So I am without confidence on this point and in fear that, for example, a computer error could destroy this text. I persist in my personal and hollow opinion that this text must not disappear because it means something to me and because I „like“ it. So I am so lost alone in this point and yet I should be so trustingly secure… But trust is a difficult exercise for us humans. Especially when we can’t experience with our mind that which we are supposed to trust… I too am always and always practicing this… every day anew.