Mindful of one’s own finiteness

I try to be aware every day that my life will come to an end. Maybe in 50 years or maybe already in the next second. I strive to recognize death as a natural part of my existence. It should not be something I have to hide. Nothing that I have to hide, like a stain, which it is in the eyes of our mind. Nothing affects our earthly life in such an elementary way as death. It simply ends it and the mind is totally incapable of gaining any control or even a little knowledge over it. Death is the beacon of the absolute limitation of the mind. Nothing shows him the futility of his striving so clearly. This trauma is also visible in today’s computer games, which captivate the masses to their screens with their illusory worlds. The hero (human) fights his way from room to room, from house to house, from castle to castle, from level to level, defending himself against a myriad of nasty creatures who all want to take his precious life. But his intelligence and physical strength lets him triumph over them all. And at the very end – the good end is within reach – comes the very big monster. Unexpected in the time of its appearance and unexpected in its power, it strikes. If man is not careful then, that was it and everything was in vain. Death, brought about by the power of the inhuman monster, simply wipes out everything that has been achieved so far. With a wipe. But in the computer game he can defeat this monster. If he is prepared and smart. Then it will be good in the end… Then he has defeated him, the Grim Reaper… Computer games are constructs of the modern mind. They serve a „market“. This market exists because people are lonely in their lives and each of them knows inside that it will have an end one day. Then, in these hours of computer games, they can forget this fact. And they have everything under control. If only they are clever, strong and smart enough. Accepting death as a part of one’s life does not mean spending every day in gloom and despair. But it means just as little to fall into a „now-I-live-as-if-every-day-were-the-last-day“ euphoria. Both do not get beyond typical mind clichés (pigeonholing: „How I should usually behave in the face of death as a materially minded person“). For me, accepting death means accepting fate. It’s hard to describe what „accepting fate“ means to me. I think that in the beginning there must be the soul knowledge that a destiny exists at all. Fate is the fulfillment of life without the influence of the mind and all its caprices (power, possessions, exaggeration in satisfying needs, isolation, knowledge…, but also the usual social ideas of joy, anger, hate and love). Once one is aware of one’s soulfulness, what is difficult to put into words here happens all by itself. We recognize the appearance, which will lose all meaning with death. We recognize the already everlasting insignificance of things, which is put into the glaring limelight at the latest in the face of death. Then cruelly clearly illuminated and no longer overlookable. We recognize what serves the fulfillment of destiny. That which we need is beyond sadness or euphoria. It is rather calm and empty. Without taste or smell. It comes on its own. Above all that! It comes by itself and no mind has to screw around with it according to its limited ideas. This is our most difficult exercise: waiting for destiny to be fulfilled and not acting. To let go for once of the many ideas our mind has ready to make our lives so much better after all. To ignore his plans once and say: „Dear Mind. Not now. We let the destiny enter. It is hard for you and also hard for me, whom you have conditioned all his life to action as an expression – indeed as a proof – of his existence. You told me: The more I influence the world and the more I create and build and do, the firmer I become in my conviction that I am. That I really exist. Now let’s leave that very thing alone for once. And do what seems repugnant to all you minds of this world: we do nothing. Doing nothing does not mean doing nothing at all. In that case, we would probably be condemned to starvation. It is true that there are stories of saints and called ones who really do nothing and are nevertheless taken care of, but we better not count ourselves among these circles. It can still become. But at the moment it is better not. Doing nothing means recognizing what fate demands of us. And not what our mind imagines. Our basic needs are elementary: warmth, food, love. Love is fated per se. We find it in our partner and friends, and we are born into our family. It is a good exercise to realize that we have just discovered an area here that cannot be controlled by our minds. Which is already obviously fated. Now, however, I assume that the word „destiny“ also means something positive to you. I hope that we do not fall into a trap of terms like in the examples of „self-forgetfulness“. Destiny means to me to be sheltered and lifted up. To follow the meaning of whatever happens. – When I say that I want to fulfill my destiny, there are many people who, startled, run their minds hot in response and very, very quickly provide me with tips and tricks for a fulfilled and prosperous life that conforms to society’s goals. For them, „following fate“ means „self-sacrifice“ in a negative sense, stagnation, gloom, inability to act, resignation, almost suicide. „This can’t be happening! This poor guy! Let’s do something to get him back to life!“ As I said: This reaction is drawer-controlled and starts immediately. I have not then been able to add another sentence of explanation. You are indeed right. To follow fate really means „self-sacrifice“ in a way. But it is something positive for me. It is the abandonment of the part of our self that is separate from creation in favor of the part that lives in unity and moves in it without thinking about it and is preserved there. Let’s get back to our basic needs. Warmth and food are no longer as easy to obtain as they were in the days of the nomads, hunters and gatherers. The „livelihood“ requires from us the „acquisition of money“. Even those who have their own land for growing food and forests for firewood are forced to „acquire“ money for land tax, cooperative contributions, residents‘ fees and compulsory health insurance (recently also compulsory television fees). He does not get out of the system. Nor is it foreseen that anyone could or would be allowed to do without money. So we are left only with „gainful employment.“ This special work of the individual in its form and integration into the existing social system is highly mind-determined and thus „fate-distant“. It serves to earn money with the motivation to have prospect on still more money, in order to act with it, to acquire, to build, to form according to personal conception, in order – as said – to assure oneself again and again that one exists as a material individual being. Because, how could it not be so, if I manifest myself in so many actions in this world. In actions of which I can say, „I made that, I own that, and I like that!“ That is why the expression of one’s own taste and individuality seems to be so significant and the main driving force for production and consumption. Perhaps you are now scolding me for being nosey: A reduction in the acquisition of money to the extent that food and warmth (and corresponding unavoidable duties) can be paid for, but no financial leeway is left for upbeat intellectual activity, helps to let fate work again. Whenever I wish for more money, I notice an unpleasant restlessness in me. I see what I would do then: A new shed (the old one is perfectly fine, but a little bigger would be nice). Made of beautiful wood. And what color would it be painted? What would go well with the trees. Pine green perhaps? Then you would paint the whole house once. That would look nice. Everyone has Swedish red. It would have to be something else. Sage green, perhaps. Another car. Because in our forest, a tiny off-road vehicle wouldn’t be bad. A new trailer. The old one is a bit rusty and a bit bigger would be nice. One would have to consider or perhaps even think, whether not possibly… BLA, BLA, BLA!!!!! AND THEN I KNOW AGAIN WHY FATE DOES NOT MAKE ME RICH! WHAT A BLESSED LUCK WE HAVE. THANK YOU OH THANK YOU! AMEN! I consider my mind to be truly emancipated. It can take a step back and fit into larger contexts. But woe betide it if it is let loose for too long! Then also he must plan and strives for acting, I notice how he then runs warm to occupy himself with trifles. With things with which he could manifest himself. Could appear to the outside. Things that are not necessary, but pure ends in themselves. In my old life I worked as an engineer! My mind is not harmless in this respect. And if it gets going, starting with the development of personal opinions and preferences, then everything becomes so pale and wan and a stale taste spreads. One of my fears is that one day I won’t be able to just leave the place where we live now because I’ve done too much there. I have realized too much of myself there. If I already couldn’t leave from here, how would I be able to leave my life behind and joyfully accept my worldly end? Then I am stuck in the things. And have reduced myself to a thing. I have forgotten my soulfulness. Now our money is enough for heat, food and unavoidable incidental expenses. Our possessions are deliberately not (let’s better say: little) fussed with. Nevertheless, we have too many things. Here something stands around, there something lies around. Sometimes you can’t find anything in your drawers anymore, and – so thrown off balance by these outside things – you begin to ask yourself: what do we need all this stuff for? And you are surprised to discover that most of it is just a burden. We need even fewer things for our lives than we already have. Now it cannot be claimed that we are „vegetating“ as total consumer refuseniks. We have cell phone, notebook – thus electricity -, car, hot water, are connected to city water and sewerage and have a nice stove that heats the whole house. But the cottage was so cheap that we paid it off in short order. Without worrying about going into debt or having to increase the money purchase and pray that the flow of money does not stop. The land is only leased. So we don’t even own it. And since we don’t want many things the need for money and gainful employment is rather small. But we don’t sit in a cave and pound stones all day, as someone once described to me the surefire result of what he called denial of growth. We let happen what happens. We perceive the course of destiny and act in unity with heaven and earth. I can’t describe it any other way. So we do act very much. But we do not do what we (or our minds) want, but what happens a…..waiting. Waiting for fate to finally act! At the beginning I thought that the action of the fate would be the same as the action of the mind. „Why isn’t it finally doing something now!“ But it isn’t. It’s completely different. It happens on its own. It is all already there. This state of affairs cannot be described better with words, I realize. So my only wish is that I succeed in following my destiny in this physical and spiritual unity. To flow in unity with creation. In the way that the hunter-gatherers did, who followed the cycles of life with light baggage. Who went where the herds took them and who subordinated their actions to the great cycle of the seasons. Who subordinated themselves to aspects that today are perhaps no longer known to us and perhaps at that time they were not even aware of. With the onset of sedentarization, all this was lost. Houses were built and possessions accumulated. Houses provided warmth or shade. They allowed man to settle in places where perhaps he was not supposed to be. Places that did not welcome him and told him, „Go back to your paradise where you are taken care of and can roam naked in the warmth. Here you will have to fight. But that is not our fault. It is just that only the snow hare and the wolf and the fox can live well here. Go back to the place of your unity and live your life there in love. Here you will have to fight. And probably you will perish, as all beings must perish whose kind does not belong here. But it is not up to us. “ And man sat down in these places, in whose cycle he did not belong and whose cycle he also did not want to follow – he went out of the living river into the icy rigidity – and sowed and fought. Fought bitterly and tenaciously and mercilessly the places everything he needed. Thus began the struggle against fate and nature, which is only as it is. You can only fight when you are in pieces. The alienation began and the mind took over. He is a hateful warlord who is still on his campaign and still makes us feel so lonely and abandoned. The nature rituals of the agrarian societies could no longer achieve what perished with the hunter-gatherers, the nomads, the little knowing and even less possessing. They have really taken the very first „unspeakable“ with them into the grave. „Naive back-to-nature drivel!“ some will surely think. „We can’t go back. Global interdependencies don’t allow us to. Besides, I like my car and my house. I like planning my vacations and I even like going to my work. So what’s this destiny stuff? I once had a clever phrase: ‚Every man is the architect of his own fortune‘ “ Yes, I guess that’s how it is. This book also just wants to be read. Nothing can be taught. Everything can only be experienced.

Pain must never be allowed to guide us. Our actions grow out of the fearless knowledge of our security in the meaning, of our soulfulness and of the eternal unity of everything. We always act in love for everything and everyone. There is no inner separation. Pain alone must never guide us.

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