Pain, grief, guilt, self-blame, negative feelings, lack of trust, even the past are exclusively smoke candles of the mind that keep us from recognizing the root causes of imbalance and thus from healing.
Like a child who receives too little attention (or thinks he receives too little), he screams and blares these terms of his at us until we believe they are the real causes of our imbalance. „I, I, I ….! Look! Me, me, me !!!“ Completely fogged in by this confusion created by our whinging minds limited in their understanding of the situation, we accept his whinging as true and try to fathom these apparent causes brought to the fore by his persistence and loudness. Protracted. Tangled. Unsuccessful.
Healing takes place at the level of the soul. And just as the egocentric child cannot stand not being noticed by adults and pushes itself between them to attract attention and boycott their conversations, the mind whinges and gets in the way of a conversation on the soul level, preventing insights that are only possible from adult to adult.
Let’s imagine we are in a winter resort. A random example. I just thought of it. With us a child and a local. Suddenly we hear a roar and see an avalanche breaking loose on a distant slope. We look a little frightened and worried at the distant spectacle. The child screams „Avalanche! Avalanche! We have to get out of here! Quickly away!“ It screams and whines. What are we going to do? We will ask it to be quiet. More or less successfully. Take it aside, shift the focus to the local and ask him for his opinion. In the equanimity with which he observes the departure, we can already guess his answer approximately. He says, „It’s not dangerous. The valley down there is uninhabited and it is accessible only by helicopter. So no one is in danger. In fact, it is good that the departure has happened now. At this place in the valley next week a film crew was going to make fashion shots in the snow. It’s good that the snow slab went down today and not next week. Now the tension is out.“ And our slight worry dissipates. We have spoken adult to adult and not been driven by ignorance. We have gained knowledge that would not have been available to us if we had focused on the unknowing child. Now we can inform the child. About the truth of this situation. – Of course, this does not mean that the child will accept this information. Of course it doesn’t. But it is also not absolutely necessary for our recognition of the truth that the child also recognizes this truth afterwards. Only: We must not leave the interpretation of the situation in connection with the resulting decisions and actions to the child.